Where It Began
Ever since I was born, I was always a hefty child. Taking me out of the womb was pretty much like taking out a bowling ball. Of course, my parents never wanted me to be malnourished--and you know what? I never was. I ate meat like a carnivorous beast, but I never touched vegetables. I started to grow super fast and had calves the size of grapefruits. Being born in an asian family, I was known as the largest person they have ever seen in their lives. I was always known for my weight and it just made me feel alone. I was constantly ridiculed from elementary, middle, and even a little bit of high school. However, I did earn a few privileges.
I was usually put in the middle of the group because I was larger than everyone else. It was either that or I was put on the far left or right end. Couldn't really blend in with my friends because I looked like Bowser in a small group of koopas. For many years I dealt with a lot of self esteem issues (I'm pretty sure it's not uncommon for an obese girl to have such problems). Was I good enough? Would I ever be good enough? Pretty enough? Talented enough? The mistake I made was that I tied talent, beauty, and success entirely on my weight. It took me years to realize that there is so much more to me than my body. It took forever for me to realize such a simple concept because I tried so hard to blend in. I wanted to be popular and cool. However I didn't think I would look attractive with tight shirts and short shorts. Also, guys in middle school were JERKS. Back in the day, they would pretend to ask out girls who were seen as "unattractive." WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. Well anyways, middle school was the roughest because I would just be walking to class and I would be called "Sumo", "Fat Girl" or "Blue Whale". I mean, there are probably more but I probably repressed it lol. Middle school was just a bad time. On top of being overweight, I was also awkward with the weirdest fashion sense--so that didn't help much. I matched my t-shirts by applying a similar eyeshadow color. That was a mistake that I shall never do again.
Things started getting much better in high school because a lot of people grew up (maybe not mentally but physically). I started to blend in because I wasn't really the tallest and the football players made me look kinda normal. People started liking me for my personality and I made great friendships with amazing people. Although I had supportive friends, I still struggled with liking myself. My doctors always told me that I had to lose weight soon so I wouldn't get complications in my health. This of course would make me quite sad, so I would start eating food to comfort myself. When I did go on a "diet" I would automatically dive into just lettuce and vegetables which was a total FAIL. I would miss meat and just go back to my normal eating patterns. Because I was juggling extracurriculars, track and field, and rigorous classes, I never tried to seek for a healthier lifestyle.
College seemed to be a continuation of high school--except with more sleep. Although I walked around a lot, I was still gaining weight because at every corner on campus is some kind of fast food joint or snack shop. That didn't help at all because there were many times when I would get anything because of the convenience. Things got especially rough during midterm and finals week--you know, those days when college students live in the libraries or lock themselves in their rooms, cramming a semester-worth of information for a test (extremely common btw. As common as seeing a cloud in the sky). So not only was I eating unhealthily, but I barely slept, and I was stressed. Fortunately i've been doing alright (hopefully it stays that way praise the lord).
At the end of spring semester during my freshman year, something had to change. I was 294.5 pounds and I definitely was not happy. I wanted to improve my health. Of course this wasn't something that I just woke up to one day--it was constant thinking over a course of weeks. Back then, I was overwhelmed because my family and physicians kept forcing me to lose weight. Now that I'm on my own, I decide what I want to do with my life. No one is yelling at me, no one is rushing me, I'm going at my own pace. I started to slowly incorporate healthier foods into my diet and working out every day. Before I knew it, my weight started to drop. Never in a million years would I think that I could keep this up--but I proved myself wrong.
Since I have many years of college ahead of me, I'll have to deal with the temptations of being a college student. Based on a program, I should be at my ideal weight (170-175ish) by the end of June 2015. This motivates me to work hard every day. I've come so far and finally living a healthier lifestyle. I am not giving up again.
Things started getting much better in high school because a lot of people grew up (maybe not mentally but physically). I started to blend in because I wasn't really the tallest and the football players made me look kinda normal. People started liking me for my personality and I made great friendships with amazing people. Although I had supportive friends, I still struggled with liking myself. My doctors always told me that I had to lose weight soon so I wouldn't get complications in my health. This of course would make me quite sad, so I would start eating food to comfort myself. When I did go on a "diet" I would automatically dive into just lettuce and vegetables which was a total FAIL. I would miss meat and just go back to my normal eating patterns. Because I was juggling extracurriculars, track and field, and rigorous classes, I never tried to seek for a healthier lifestyle.
College seemed to be a continuation of high school--except with more sleep. Although I walked around a lot, I was still gaining weight because at every corner on campus is some kind of fast food joint or snack shop. That didn't help at all because there were many times when I would get anything because of the convenience. Things got especially rough during midterm and finals week--you know, those days when college students live in the libraries or lock themselves in their rooms, cramming a semester-worth of information for a test (extremely common btw. As common as seeing a cloud in the sky). So not only was I eating unhealthily, but I barely slept, and I was stressed. Fortunately i've been doing alright (hopefully it stays that way praise the lord).
At the end of spring semester during my freshman year, something had to change. I was 294.5 pounds and I definitely was not happy. I wanted to improve my health. Of course this wasn't something that I just woke up to one day--it was constant thinking over a course of weeks. Back then, I was overwhelmed because my family and physicians kept forcing me to lose weight. Now that I'm on my own, I decide what I want to do with my life. No one is yelling at me, no one is rushing me, I'm going at my own pace. I started to slowly incorporate healthier foods into my diet and working out every day. Before I knew it, my weight started to drop. Never in a million years would I think that I could keep this up--but I proved myself wrong.
Since I have many years of college ahead of me, I'll have to deal with the temptations of being a college student. Based on a program, I should be at my ideal weight (170-175ish) by the end of June 2015. This motivates me to work hard every day. I've come so far and finally living a healthier lifestyle. I am not giving up again.